We are heading into the giving season, a time when our attention naturally turns to other people. In Veterinary medicine, that instinct is hardly seasonal. Caring for others is what we do.
But what about that thing you keep saying you are going to do for yourself?
I should exercise more. I should call that friend. I could finally make that appointment. I should ask for help, take the class, use my vacation time or have the conversation I have been avoiding.
Woulda, coulda, shoulda.
Most of us don’t need someone to tell us what we should be doing. We already know. The harder question is what finally gets us to do it.
I have been thinking about that a lot lately because I finally tackled one of my own longtime “shouldas.”
There was a time when I was incredibly active. I ran marathons, not something I share to brag, but because it makes what happened next a little more ironic. Before COVID-19, I had already started slowing down. Then the pandemic hit, routines disappeared and, somewhere along the way, I became what I can only describe as an utter sloth. And I stayed there for a lot longer than I would like to admit.
I knew I should get back in shape. I knew strength training was important, particularly as I got older. I knew I would feel better if I moved more. Yet my get-up-and-go had simply got up and went. Apparently, it packed a bag, changed its number and had no immediate plans to return.
Then something happened. I fell. Not once, but twice. Both falls were unexpected, painful and hard enough to leave me with massive cuts and bruises. At 56, that got my attention.
Suddenly, getting fit wasn’t about fitting into a certain size or how I looked in the mirror. It was about how I wanted to live. I didn’t want to be weak. I didn’t want to worry about falling. And I didn’t want to keep telling myself I would do something about it “someday.”
Those falls gave me my why.
What is Your Why?
Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule is built around a simple idea: Count backward, 5-4-3-2-1, and act before your brain has time to talk you out of it.
I like that. But I think there is something that comes before the countdown. You have to know why you are getting up in the first place. My why happened to be two falls. Yours could be completely different.
Maybe you have been talking about using your vacation time but never do. Maybe you have been considering a new job, going back to school or pursuing a certification. Maybe there is a difficult conversation you know you need to have. Perhaps you keep promising yourself you will reconnect with someone, get your finances in order or finally make an appointment you have been putting off.
For those of us in Veterinary medicine, it can be especially easy to put our own things on hold. There is always another patient, client, colleague, student, employee or family member who needs something.
That doesn’t mean we all have the same capacity. A Veterinary student in clinical rotations has a very different life from a practice owner managing 40 employees. A Veterinary technician working long shifts has different demands than someone whose job keeps them on airplanes. The point isn’t that everyone should be doing more.
It is figuring out what matters enough to you that you are ready to do something about it.
And hopefully, you don’t need to fall twice to figure it out.
One Thing
Maybe that is the challenge as we head into the end of the year. Before we spend the next few months giving to everyone else and then arrive at Jan. 1 with a list of resolutions, pick one thing that has been sitting on your woulda, coulda, shoulda list. Just one.
Then ask yourself two questions: Why haven’t I done it, and why does it matter to me? The answers may be very different. “I don’t have time” may be the answer to the first question. “I want to be able to get on the floor with my grandchildren 10 years from now” might be the answer to the second.
That is where things start to change.
Then make the first action almost ridiculously small. We tend to make change so big that we make starting harder than it needs to be. Working out becomes five days a week instead of a 10-minute walk. Changing careers becomes finding the perfect new job instead of updating a résumé. Repairing a relationship becomes solving everything instead of sending one text.
Find your why. Then borrow Robbins’ countdown 5-4-3-2-1 and do one thing.
As we head into a season centered on giving, maybe one of the gifts we give ourselves is no longer putting off something we know matters. For me, it was getting stronger. I could have started sooner. I should have started sooner. But woulda, coulda and shoulda aren’t going to make me stronger.
Doing it will.